{"id":383,"date":"2021-08-19T11:36:29","date_gmt":"2021-08-19T11:36:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/neu.sandrakhalil.de\/?p=383"},"modified":"2023-08-02T08:38:37","modified_gmt":"2023-08-02T06:38:37","slug":"selbstwert-und-was-das-mit-meiner-designerhandtasche-zu-tun-hat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/selbstwert-und-was-das-mit-meiner-designerhandtasche-zu-tun-hat\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-worth and what it has to do with my designer handbag"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is the story of my handbag and me\u2014and why I keep running up against the limits of my self-confidence with it. But let\u2019s start at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I started my own business in September 2018, it was a big deal for me. Huge. I had worked for the same company for 29 years\u2014hello... That wasn\u2019t just nerve-wracking and exciting; it was also something to celebrate. So, I decided to treat myself to something that matched the significance of this moment. The object of my desire: a designer handbag. \ud83d\ude42 By lucky coincidence, a good friend was selling exactly that handbag at an unbeatable price. So, it was decided: the bag and I\u2026 we were meant to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That was the plan\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent.\u201d
(Eleanor Roosevelt)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But things turned out differently. The handbag was brought home, admired, and carefully placed in the coat closet in the hallway, where it waited for its debut. And waited. And waited\u2026 I couldn\u2019t believe it. Whenever I went out, my hand would reach right past it to my old, inexpensive, and worn bags. WHY???? What was going on? I talked with friends and with myself. It had been such a big wish, tied to such a special moment (me, strong, brave, unbelievably brave even)\u2026 so what was wrong? We debated the color (it\u2019s a medium gray, elegant, understated). That wasn\u2019t the issue. We discussed the size (it\u2019s perfect\u2014my MacBook even fits inside). So, that wasn\u2019t it either. Damn\u2026 slowly, an uncomfortable thought began to take hold. It wasn\u2019t the bag. It was\u2026 me! More specifically\u2026 my self-confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lot of questions came up:
... did I even deserve this bag?
... shouldn\u2019t I have invested my money in something more practical?
... was I just a follower without individuality or taste (after all, a lot of women have this bag)?
... would it signal to my clients that I don\u2019t actually need to make money?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poor bag. It had to carry so much weight\u2014and that\u2019s not its job! So why am I telling you this? Don\u2019t base your self-confidence on things. Or on other people. They can neither give you self-confidence nor take it away! What matters is how you feel when you block out everything else. We often feel \u201csmall\u201d only when we compare ourselves to others or try to keep up. But that\u2019s not the point. Everyone is perfect just as they are! That doesn\u2019t mean we shouldn\u2019t strive to grow. Quite the opposite. Want more? Then go for it! Do more, invest in yourself and your growth, read books, take seminars, get inspired, and develop your strategies for making it happen! But\u2026 don\u2019t get thrown off by what\u2019s going on around you. That\u2019s not the benchmark! So, what did this experience do for me and my bag? I don\u2019t know\u2026 we\u2019re still not \u201cBFFs\u201d yet. But I know this: the day will come when I\u2019ll wear it with pride and joy. Yes, I\u2019ll wear it\u2014not the other way around. I\u2019m the one who decides, and I won\u2019t let a bag bring me down or lift me up. It\u2019s my accessory. Period. Bag\u2026 you still have a lot to learn!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Das ist die Geschichte von meiner Handtasche und mir. Und warum ich bei ihr immer wieder an die Grenzen meines Selbstbewusstseins sto\u00dfe. Doch von vorne. Als ich mich im September 2018 selbst\u00e4ndig machte war das f\u00fcr mich ein Riesen-Ding. Riesig. Ich war 29 Jahre fest angestellt in EINER Firma, hallo… Das war nicht nur nervenaufreibend […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":678,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15,16],"tags":[18,19],"class_list":["post-383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-gefuehlsleben","category-lifestyle","tag-selbstbewusstsein","tag-selbstwert"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=383"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1578,"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383\/revisions\/1578"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandrakhalil.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}