This is the story of my handbag and me—and why I keep running up against the limits of my self-confidence with it. But let’s start at the beginning.
When I started my own business in September 2018, it was a big deal for me. Huge. I had worked for the same company for 29 years—hello... That wasn’t just nerve-wracking and exciting; it was also something to celebrate. So, I decided to treat myself to something that matched the significance of this moment. The object of my desire: a designer handbag. 🙂 By lucky coincidence, a good friend was selling exactly that handbag at an unbeatable price. So, it was decided: the bag and I… we were meant to be.
That was the plan…
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
(Eleanor Roosevelt)
But things turned out differently. The handbag was brought home, admired, and carefully placed in the coat closet in the hallway, where it waited for its debut. And waited. And waited… I couldn’t believe it. Whenever I went out, my hand would reach right past it to my old, inexpensive, and worn bags. WHY???? What was going on? I talked with friends and with myself. It had been such a big wish, tied to such a special moment (me, strong, brave, unbelievably brave even)… so what was wrong? We debated the color (it’s a medium gray, elegant, understated). That wasn’t the issue. We discussed the size (it’s perfect—my MacBook even fits inside). So, that wasn’t it either. Damn… slowly, an uncomfortable thought began to take hold. It wasn’t the bag. It was… me! More specifically… my self-confidence.
A lot of questions came up:
... did I even deserve this bag?
... shouldn’t I have invested my money in something more practical?
... was I just a follower without individuality or taste (after all, a lot of women have this bag)?
... would it signal to my clients that I don’t actually need to make money?
Poor bag. It had to carry so much weight—and that’s not its job! So why am I telling you this? Don’t base your self-confidence on things. Or on other people. They can neither give you self-confidence nor take it away! What matters is how you feel when you block out everything else. We often feel “small” only when we compare ourselves to others or try to keep up. But that’s not the point. Everyone is perfect just as they are! That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to grow. Quite the opposite. Want more? Then go for it! Do more, invest in yourself and your growth, read books, take seminars, get inspired, and develop your strategies for making it happen! But… don’t get thrown off by what’s going on around you. That’s not the benchmark! So, what did this experience do for me and my bag? I don’t know… we’re still not “BFFs” yet. But I know this: the day will come when I’ll wear it with pride and joy. Yes, I’ll wear it—not the other way around. I’m the one who decides, and I won’t let a bag bring me down or lift me up. It’s my accessory. Period. Bag… you still have a lot to learn!
